Posted By: Roses Supposes on February 09, 2010

Q:

Ok, so this world is so new. I was a sexually repressed religious type for too many years and married super young. Now awakening to myself, blah blah blah. Religious mom asked me yesterday if I was exploring whether or not I was gay...I fumbled and mumbled but said yah. She worked very hard to be cool and promised not to toss me out. Actually, she was very sweet. It's a relief to know that I can throw a divorce and this at her and she's still got my back.

Anywho, I really appreciate the podcast as a way to understand a lot of things I don't understand and give me a community.

I don't have a community yet, but I am starting to check out all the women I see. Very weird for me...was repressed, remember. Never quite knew why I didn't check out guys. Guess I do now. Also, I'm on the heavier/serious side, so I don't get flirted with (or don't realize I'm being flirted with) by guys. by the by, I'm 29.

I was ordering pizza the other day and this very cute, ever-so-slightly butch brown girl behind the counter complimented my necklace. Happens all the time--it's a cool necklace. But then she took it further and said I must like green. I said yes (had my green jewelry on), I do....I'm not getting this down well at all. Long and short of it, I held her eyes for an extra long moment and also chatted with her about her favorite color. Did I just have my first ever lesbian flirting session? I felt all excited and fluttery afterwards. Are there secret clues I should know about?

A:

Hi,

Thank you for writing us and being so open and honest about your coming out process. I enjoyed reading about your first flirting experience! Is this someone you would consider going on a date with? If so, you know where she works and maybe (when you get up enough nerve) can go back and ask when she'd like to grab a pizza WITH you sometime. Simple, easy, and if she turns you down....you never have to go back to that pizza shop again. It's as easy as flirting with men, if not easier. Women are naturally more talkative than men, so it's easy to strike up a conversation with lesbians. Good luck and let me know what happens!

Charlie