Posted By: Mandee on January 07, 2010

Q:

Dear charlie I am 17 and I just graduated highschool and like most I have no idea what the hell I want to do. I am thinking about joining the army or air force ,but mostly because I dont know if i can do anything else. I spent the last 5 months at a military school where i lived in 1 room with 34 other girls...trust me it is hell. but when I graduated I felt lost. everything had changed in my mind. Before I left I was energetic, outgoing and very flamboyant and now I am...well i have been told its like i was brainwashed, or i am a zombie. I dont know if i can succeed without a military setting but i dont want to have to live in the closet the rest of my life. IDK what to do. so im not asking for u to tell me what to do, I just want your thoughts on the military and my situation.

A:

(I'm letting j Church give you advice since she has more experience in this field--Charlie)

Hi,

It's unfortunate that you have to make this choice: to follow a career path that you feel best suits you or to live your life openly and honestly. The good news is that things will change - and hopefully sooner than later. Having been in the military, I totally understand the stress of DADT. The anxiety of being "found out" stays with you even when you leave work at the end of the day - as many people that you run into, even off base, are still in some way tied to the military base. That said, there are still many LGBT people who have successful careers in the military and while it wasn't right for me, that doesn't mean it wouldn't be for you. My suggestion would be to join as a reserve. You will go through the same basic training and tech school as you would for active duty and you can always go active at a later point if you decide the military is right for you or if DADT is repealed. This would allow you to keep one foot in the military world and one foot in the civillian world until you're better able to determine which is best for you. It's easier to go from reserve to active than from active to reserve. However, if you are set on going active from the get go, maybe sign up for a short initial enlistment. They used to offer 2 year enlistments - I'm not sure if this is still an option though. But you could try a 2 year enlistment and if it works for you, simply re-enlist for longer. I hope this helps.

-j.