Posted By: North-Of-Somewhere on January 07, 2010

Q:

so, i am 14 years old and i am a lesbian. i grew up in Montana with my grandma and grandpa, my grandma is very Mormon, and my grandpa is a non-denominational Christian. they raised me until i was 3 1/2 when my mom came and moved me in with her... fast forward to 6th grade when i start realizing that the thoughts i had for women weren't like everyone else... i told my mom i was gay in 7th grade but asked her not to tell anyone, since then everyone i live with knows, and everyone at school knows. all of those people are perfectly fine with my sexuality aside from the overly religious people that come with living in Utah.

any ways, now that everyone around me in my day to day life are comfortable with this, i want to be 100% out about it the only people left are extended family and of course, my grandparents. my two biggest fears about telling them are that they will either be disappointed in the child they pretty much raised, and that they won't be a part of my sisters' lives because of me.

so my question is,: how should i break the news to them? separately? together? what should i say?

A:

Hi,

This is a difficult situation because you are so young and I'm sure you're dealing with your sexuality, the issues of being a teenager, and growing up in a town that is predominantly Mormon.

I'd have to say I would invite them over for dinner that you helped prepare or made for them. Sit them down during dinner and tell them that you've been feeling this way towards women since the sixth grade. It may take them a bit to digest and accept this information but you are their grandchild. Hopefully, they will accept and love you no matter what, ESPECIALLY since they helped to raise you. Since your mother was open and other people in your life that also live in this town, I would hope that your grandparents would be just as accepting too. Just remember that as it took you awhile to realize your attraction to women and to come out, it could take your grandparents the same amount, if not more time to accept your sexuality.

Good luck and let me know what happens,
Charlie